Celebrity Morphing, Part 2
We all remember that fateful post, over a year ago, when I made my blogging debut by showing the world that Michael Berg (a.k.a. that guy in The Reader) is a perfect cross between our very own Ryan Hughes and the darling and recently taken off-the-market Prince William. Now, after sitting through the world’s most evil chick-flick, I’ve made another celebrity comparison. (Yes, I know that referring to Ryan as a celebrity will only accelerate his descent into complete narcissim, I’m sorry)
Colin Egglesfield = Carlos Boganegra + Tom Cruise
With a little bit of Richard the eyeliner guy thrown in there for good measure…
Sorry, feeling LOST-algic.
The Many Faces of Ryan James Hughes
And of course, the post that started it all…
Guess Who’s Back, Back Again
I thought I’d use my first blogging venture since my move to Boston to remind my peers that although hiatus was extended longer than I originally intended, blogging and Philadelphia hold special places in my heart, and I haven’t forgotten about either.
The transition to life in New England has gone exceedingly smoothly. I arrived in early September and, faster than you can say “wicked pissa,” people were calling me Ginge and MBK. Ahhh, the sweet sounds of home. Not everything is so homey though. Just the other day I was walking through the dining hall when I noticed a “Philadelphia Steak and Cheese” option for lunch. I shuddered, knowing that they were describing an imitation Philly Cheesesteak, and the nice man serving them would think I was crazy if I uttered those magical words “whiz wit.” And don’t even get me started on the word “sub.” IT’S A HOAGIE. And I will not eat it until it is properly labeled and on an Amoroso roll.
Despite being in Boston, BC has the misfortune of being home to way too many Yankees fans (I suggest adding a box to check off baseball team preferences on the application).But guess who finished the regular season with the best record in baseball? That’s right THE PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES. Them Fightin’ Phils are back in the playoffs (again), and now I can remind everyone about how I was the only person who didn’t give up on Cole and Lidge after last season. Hollywood Hamels is shutting them down and Lights-Out Lidge is sending them home. We’ve got the best starting three in baseball, Jayson Werth has finally decided to start playing again, and the majority of the starting team is NOT on the DL. It smells like October, which means it smells like the Yankees suck.
So tonight at 5:07, or whenever I return from class, I’ll sit down in front of TBS, listening to their terrible commentary, wearing my 2010 NL East Champions t-shirt, waving my rally towel, and dreaming of eating Chickie & Pete’s Crab Fries at the Bank.
Also, I’d like to point out that I returned to the blogosphere much faster than this blog’s namesake. If anyone would like to start a petition to change the name to Ginger Explains it All, it would be much appreciated.
I’ll Be Missing You…
Seeing as I am the very last person on Earth to start college this year, I have decided to dedicate my last days on the Main Line (and in Avalon) to blogging. I apologize for the extended summer break I took from “Ryan Mary Bridget Explains It All”, but as I intend to continue blogging in college, I thought it best to remind everyone of how truly amazing my blog posts are.
As most of you know, Ryan and I will both be heading to separate colleges within the next week. While we were saying our goodbyes over lunch at Meridith’s in Berwyn earlier today, I started to think about the things I will miss when I leave for Boston next week. In an effort to avoid the waterworks that I am apparently so prone to, I have decided to limit my list to non-humans.
I Actually Started Crying When I Saw This…
Forget everything I just said about dreams, because all of mine just came true. Thank you Benny Feilhaber, thank you.
DISCLAIMER: You will probably wet yourself while watching this video.
Excuse me, I have to go change my clothes because I think I peed myself again.
A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes…
I have a few dreams in life. Graduate college, have a successful career, own a home, visit at least six continents, have a family, bring pride to the Ginger race, etc. But I have two dreams that I thought were just about as far fetched as possible, until I saw this.
After twenty six minutes of overtime and two destroyed vocal chords, I witnessed Spain win the World Cup. To be honest, I didn’t care about either team. Sure, Spain has Gerard Piqué (above), the first mentally deficient player to make it to a World Cup final, but the Dutch also had an entire team of Joran van der Sloot lookalikes (that guy who murdered Natalie Holloway and some Peruvian chick).
Horribly insensitive remarks aside, the final match was incredibly tedious and we need to lay some ground rules to prevent the 2014 cup from sucking so much:
The Other Round of 16
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but America has (finally) caught World Cup fever. It’s taken 80 years, two disallowed goals, 270 minutes, and Landon Donovan’s right foot, which will most likely be cast in gold at the end of the tournament. Even my little brother, who could only name 4 US players as of last Sunday, has suddenly become a “fan”. But, with or without the support of America’s major TV networks, we’ve made it to the round of 16. And yes, during the last two weeks I’ve suffered about two dozen heart attacks and wept more tears than I would like to admit, but we’re here.
For those of you who haven’t quite caught onto the World Cup yet (ladies, I’m talking to you), here are 16 beautiful, chisled, athletic reasons to start watching. We all, meaning freaks like me who follow soccer more often than once every four years, know what the round of 16 bracket looks like, as of this afternoon, but I’d like to introduce a different kind of bracket to the blogosphere. So grab your vuvuzelas, start up those USA! chants, and get ready to play…
I love soccer (football). Even though no one has actually won yet. Draws are lame. Wayne Rooney can suck it. I hope someone heatbutts him tomorrow.
USA!
Where’s My App for That?
I love my iPhone, don’t get me wrong, but there’s something misleading about Apple’s constant “there’s an app for that” commercials. Sure, it’s cool that you can turn out the lights with your phone, but that’s not what I’m interested in. I have plenty of favorite apps (Hipstamatic, ESPN ScoreCenter, MLB At Bat 2010, IMDb, No Fear Shakespeare, WordPress, the list goes on), there are quite a few apps that I have dreamt about, but are not yet abailable in the iTunes App Store (take note, Steve Jobs).
How exactly am I supposed to work those discos in Provence if I can’t “talk dirty French”? These wonderful books, featured prominently at most Urban Outfitters, spill on the essential slang needed for traveling in foreign countries. Certainly it can’t be too hard to put a condensed version into an App for me to use while getting my groove on en francais. Seriously, If I can get nineteen of Shakespeare’s plays on my iPhone, I should be able to get a handful of useful French slang terms.
2. MILK!
I don’t think its a secret that I have an addiction to milk (seriously Mom, there are worse things for me to be addicted to). There is that lame iMilk app where you can pretend to drink milk, and then shake to curdle into cream. But I want an app that I can actually drink milk out of. I really don’t think that’s asking too much here…
3. Wimbledon 2010
Seriously, you haven’t upgraded from the 2009 version yet? The Championships Wimbledon are just over a week away, and I’d really appreciate it if I could start my portable tennis coverage now, thank you very much.
4. Virtual Finn Hudson App
Just because. Don’t judge.
5. Live TV App
It’s coming. It’s inevitable. Please hurry it up. Verizon and/or Comcast, take note. Also, a Netflix app would be nice.
6. Skype
Please introduce this with the iPhone 4. It would be oh so Zenon of you. And it would make my heart go boom boom (my Supernova girl).
7. iCalculus, iPhysics, etc
If I can take a picture of a barcode with my iPhone, and the Red Laser app can tell me what it is and the cheapest place to find it, I should be able to take a picture of my homework and my phone will solve it for me.
8. The Sometimes Sookie Stackhouse App
I’d really like to read minds, but only some minds. And only when I want to. For instance, when someone is trying to kill me.
